My friend Matt is a master of the carol singeing, usually in supermarkets. If he's not leading or planning the thing, you can expect some borderline disruptive behaviour from him. This is why he's been ordained: to give him enough to do in church services that he doesn't feel the need to set fire to things or sing the rude words to Christmas carols.
The same is true of me, of course, so when Matt was leading the carols in a residential home yesterday evening, I sat with the residents (because they had better chairs and because I'm incarnational; not necessarily in that order) and tried to keep my mind on the business in hand.
Carols were good for teaching the stories and theology in a non-book culture. I salute them. But…
This evening I sang a couple of very long ones, and in the course of them I found myself fashioning my santa hat into a hand puppet and making it sing, variously as a kind of Fingermouse, then one of the Fraggle Rock creatures by the trash heap, then as Jane's Truth Snake from Coupling.
Fingermouse. Bearded Yoffy not pictured.
In the second long carol I figured out how to make my santa hat stand erect on top of my head by judicious use of a table-top Christmas tree. It wobbled alarmingly, but I think that added to the charm.
So let's look briefly at the downside of carols. Tomorrow we can get back to the nativity characters.
Drawback 1: Being too long. Covered that.
Drawback 2: Having convoluted syntax. I mean, screwing with sentences in a way that would confuse Yoda himself, just to fit the sentiment, theology or rhyme of the piece. A smartie or a big kiss (your choice) to anyone who can successfully punctuate the following:
Silent night holy night Son of God Love's pure Light radiant beams from Thy holy face with the dawn of redeeming grace Jesus Lord at Thy birth Jesus Lord at Thy birth
Anyone know what they're singing? Yoda? No? There are lots of carols with terrible word-order, which make the meaning more opaque rather than clear as day. If we're trying to communicate a good truth, why not do it clearly?
To you a Christmas happy wish I, said Yoda.
Drawback 3: Having bad scansion. The ruddy words don't fit the tune. Prime examples would include In The Bleak Midwinter. After all, what congregation can come to a consensus on how to sing:
"Yet what (I) can I give him (?)
Give my heart."
Moreover, in O Come All Ye Faithful, where do you sing the "be" in "begotten" in:
"Very God, begotten not created" ?
Do you sing:
"Ve-ery Go-od,
Begotten not created"
or
"Very God be-
Gotten not created."
And how do you feel about people singing the other (wrong) one while you're singing the (right) one? Basically, would it have taken a grand smashing poet like Rossetti long to have come up with a set of words that fitted and rhymed? I mean, she was a poet!
I don't for a minute think you should be able to understand things before you can sing them. But we complain such a lot about losing the meaning of Christmas that it would make more sense if carols worked with us. Clarity, please, in punctuation! Clarity, please, in syntax. Carols are so full of good theology that it's a shame if we can't extract it. One of the fuddiest and duddiest of carols - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - features some of the best theology:
"Jesus Christ our Saviour was born upon this day
to save us all from Satan's power
when we were gone astray…
...To you is born a Saviour in David's town tonight
To free all those who trust in him
from Satan's power and might."
How cool is that? How many sermons would kill to be so straightforward?
We may not be living in a book culture now, so the clearer our carols, the better.
Fraggle Rock trash-heap monster
Drawback 4: Being Schmaltzy.
"No crying he makes"?
No thank you.
"How silently, how silently the wondrous gift is given."
Since when was childbirth silent?
"For he is our childhood pattern."
Jesus left his parents and gave them every parent's worst nightmare!
"Christian children all must be
mild, obedient, good as he."
Ooh, preachy. Let's not sing embarrassing lyrics that were invented for some Victorian drawing room. I'm not sure shoehorning dubious moral imperatives into carols is what they're really for.
That's all. For now.
Did you spot, then, that I love carols? I only complain about the things (and people) I love.
Jane and the Truth Snake from Coupling, yesterday
Carols are brilliant. Go decipher some, and then sing them.
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