Penguins And A Pantomime Horse

One of my roles in life was film-making on a teenage outdoor pursuits venture.  And one of the things you could safely and easily spot in these short films was a certain indebtedness to The Mighty Boosh, The Goodies and Trevor and Simon (fantastic fact: Simon's mum used to go to my church.  She still goes, but it's not my church any more).

These explain a lot.

And as my friend Rob said one day - probably after a curry lunch and from the back half of the pantomime horse - "Why am I always the arse-end?"

Me and Rob, yesterday.

Good question.  My argument was that I was bringing a certain je ne sais quoi to the front end, taking horseplay to new frontiers of horsery.  And - not to put too fine a point on it - "shut up and get back in there.  We're on a tight schedule and breathing is a luxury."

So.  Rob.  Sorry mate.  That was deeply inequable.  In-equin-able.  I'll make it up to you one day.  Although, considering how many soakings, shaving-foam-pies and desperate indignities Rob had heaped upon him in those halcyon days, I suspect the posterial permanence of his position is the least of his grievances (but see our early 21st century film, "Rob's Internal Monologue").

Back to the penguins.

And if you've ever watched that parade - a "waddle" - of penguin males marching across the frozen wastes of North Manchester Antarctica then you may well have felt some pity for the ones at the front, bearing the brunt of the weather.  Or the ones at the rear getting their penguin bum-ends frozen off.  Or the ones at the sides, where the countervailing winds are bitterest.  Do these extreme penguins envy the ones a-waddling at the heart of the huddle?  Is there pushing and shoving and lobbying for a warmer walk?

It seems not.  It seems that these penguins work together.  It seems that within the waddle, our flightless feathered friends are, indeed, friends.  They circulate, spending some time at the heart to warm themselves up and take a breather from the blizzard, and then a stint at the hintermost boundaries, yes, getting chilly, but yes, giving a break to those who had previously been on the frosty fringes.

Being largely black and white, it's hard to spot from a distance.  But it happens.

Does it happen in churches too?  Are Christians practitioners of the penguin protector/protected pattern?

Well, are they?

Good churches, I guess, are largely full of people who are broadly aware of each other's needs, so that when someone needs a break from the rigours of life, there are people who will cosset and huddle and squeeze in with a pastoral wing and an offer to lighten the load until the crisis passes.  When problems pile in or bereavement looms, when depression saps or some kick in the teeth has been delivered, we need people to stand around us.  And when our brothers and sisters are laid so low, we need to step up to shelter them.

There's something about it in Ecclesiastes where the geezer (that's a theological term) says:

 Two are better than one,

    because they have a good return for their labor:

 If either of them falls down,

    one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

    and has no one to help them up.

 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

    But how can one keep warm alone?

 Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

It's like he'd seen penguins already!

You need help sometimes, and I need help sometimes as we waddle along with Christ.  It's a cruel cold world, and without each other, we'll just wander off into the wilds or else lie down and stop caring whether we live or die.

I've been in need of a huddle quite often, and I'm massively grateful for the people who were there to hem me in behind and before, in the style of God (I think that's a quote from Psalm 139.  Somebody check, please).

And there you have it.  This week's last (well, probably last) penguin blog.  

Be distinctive… 

Live sacrificially… 

Look after each other…

So much to think about… get out there and be all penguinish for Jesus, ok?

 

Putting Your Fun On Ice

Did you manage to match the penguins to the names?

These are Galapagos penguins.

 And these are rockhoppers.  Or maybe macaroni penguins.

 While this is a chinstrap penguin.  Who knew?

This is a little blue penguin, so-called because… erm… I'll get back to you on this one. 

These are strictly Emperor penguins

This is a Gentoo penguin.

And here's an Adelie penguin.  I hope I got all of those right...

And so we decided penguins aren't monochrome, and Christians aren't monocultural.  As with Desmond Tutu, we're to be God's rainbow people.

Anyway, how fast can a penguin go?  They can toboggan about at speeds upwards of 20mph, and all the evidence suggests that they do it for fun as well as progress.  Penguins have no land predators, so there's no need for speed.  But they slide along having the whoopiest time of their lives!

Who needs flight?

And then they give it up.

Male penguins give up that slippery life of feathery frolicsome fun to look after the egg.  You'll've seen films of huge huddles ("waddles") of penguins crossing the North Manchester antarctic tundra at about 2mph, all to preserve that one single egg that they carry in such unlikely fashion on their feet.

Who'd do that?  Well, lots of you, I guess, if it meant looking after your young.  Wyth-It thought a bit about the sacrifice it would be - giving up all the streamlined sliding to waddle, for the sake of someone else.

And of course from there we thought about how Jesus did it.  How Jesus left heaven (which I suspect is a bit five-star rated on Trip Advisor) and slummed it down here, just so that he could save us, re-connect us with God, and offer us a whole new set of possibilities.

I mean, this earth is good.  God made it, and God di'n't make no rubbish, good readers.  It's not like Jesus was coming on down to complete squalor.  He came down to a mother's love and to the occasional lie-in and to wine and laughter and he chose a time that predated reality TV, so in many ways it was better than today (but with less good anaesthetic should you need it).

Nevertheless, it's a step down.  It's a 33 year step down, with crucifixion guaranteed.  And puberty, which is as bad.  And wisdom teeth.  And siblings, who divide opinion.  And Thursdays.  And teething and sore bumbum.  And rejection, a bit of a flogging, some betrayal and a long trip carrying a cross-bar.  So, you know, not entirely idyllic.

Jesus, it says in Philippians 2, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage.  Rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!

Whenever you read the gospel, that's Jesus walking when he could be flying.  That's Jesus working when he could be loafing.  That's Jesus, living the extra mile.  That's him, that is.  You can excuse him a good nap in a storm-tossed boat and the odd bit of impatience.  

And our attitude needs to be the same.

What does that look like?  I need constant reminders that hunkering down with people is what Jesus would do.  The church needs constant reminders that we're not here as some aspirational club but as a movement to sit alongside the weariest and make a difference, even when we think we could be flying or hanging out with the frankly beautiful people of witty repartee and hipster clothes.

Be like those penguin fellows.  Think upon the sacrifice of Jesus - not just the crucifixion but the whole 33 years - and see what it looks like when we sacrifice our time or dignity or popularity or salary to do some of the same stuff as Jesus, to follow his trajectory and to spot that extra mile.

We're not done with penguins yet.  Yes, they're not all black and white.  Yes, they put the ice back in sacrifice (see what I did there?).  But there's more…

Come back tomorrow to see that huddle waddle...

Everything I Know About Life I've Learned From Penguins

Hello.

How did you go on with the Penguin Quiz?  Let's see how many p-p-p-points you p-p-p-p-picked up.

1.

This is Feathers McGraw from Wallace and Gromit: The Wrong Trousers.

2.

This is Chilly Willy.  You wouldn't believe what I found when I googled him/her.  Oh, you would?

3.

This is the Penguin off the Penguin books.

4.

This one's Frobisher, comic strip companion to Colin Baker's Doctor Who in the mid-1980s.  If you got that, you should probably get out more.  Or stay in more.  Either is good.

5.

This is Pingu, and yes, he's mopping up his sister's urine.

6.

These are Penguin chocolate bars.

7.

These are the Penguins of Madagascar.  Their names elude me.  A man's brain has only so much space, and I find I still know the words to Don't Turn Around by Aswad from 1988, so remembering four penguin names is clearly not a possibility.  My terabyte is all used up.

8.

This is Mumble from Happy Feet.  Of course.

9.

From the popular Octonauts series, this is Peso.

10.

And finally we have Wheezy the Penguin from Toy Story.   2, mostly.

Penguins, it emerges, come in all shapes and sizes, from the Little Blue to the Adelie to the Rockhopper.  Emperors and Kings.  Galapagos penguins.  And there was me thinking they were a monochrome population the world over.  Can you match the following pictures to their breed?

1.

 2.

 3.

 4.

 5.

 6.

 7.

There's a chinstrap penguin, a macaroni penguin, an emperor penguin, an adelie penguin, a little blue penguin, a galapagos penguin and a gentoo penguin.  If nothing else, please get the chinstrap and the little blue right…

Penguins may be largely black and white, but they're certainly not monochrome…

…and neither are the followers of Jesus.  Much as people might like to dismiss us, much as the new atheist critics like to use a broad brush-stroke to generalise wildly, much as some would like to choose the worstest silliest Christian ever and consign us all to perdition off the back of that one, we're just not.

Followers of Jesus come in more shapes and sizes than penguins.  There are those of us who love exuberant worship, those who love reflective worship, those who love both…  There are followers of all ages and shades of everything.  

Basically, be proud of your diverseness, whether you like a literal six-day creation or a billions-of-years affair; whether you love organ voluntaries or some gentle strumming or some wholesome Quaker silence.  

Don't let critics tar you with one brush.  Surprise them

And don't let any other Christians tell you that the church has a narrow DNA either.  Last time I looked, the only qualification needed for being a Christian was loving and following Jesus.  Nothing else.  Don't let anyone disqualify you - and don't disqualify anyone else.

As for penguins, it doesn't matter if they look like Craig David

or Dennis Healey

they're still penguins.  And whatever your shade of belief or belonging, nothing stops you belonging to Jesus in your diverse glory.

Name That Penguin!

Hello out there.

So today St Luke's thought all about penguins.  As you do.

What did we think?

Well.  We thought - with the help of our resident young folk (Wyth-It!) about how the life of a penguin and the life of a Christian can be startlingly similar.  Also that life in the tundra is demanding, and so when female penguins choose a mate, they'll often plump for (ahem) the plumper penguin.  More chance of surviving the North Manchester Antarctic winter, you see.  No fools, those penguinettes.

More anon.  For now, see how many of these fictional penguins you can name…

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Answers tomorrow, if we're spared...

Great Expectations in Hard Times

Today it’s all about chains.  Chains and links.  Good chains and bad chains.

It all starts with breaking chains.  Jesus has gone back into heaven a few years ago.  The disciples who are taking him seriously are keeping his final command: go out and make disciples of all people.  Spread the word.

Break chains.  Break chains now!

Paul and Silas are two such disciples, and this time they’re in Philippi.  And in Philippi is a woman who has an evil spirit in her.  She’s been kept enchained by this spirit.  And she has - did you spot it? - “owners.”  She is owned by people who are exploiting her terrible situation.  She has no peace of mind, she’s constrained by this bad spirit to wander round, and when Paul and Silas arrive, she finds herself stalking them, day after day after day.  Such is the power of God that the evil spirit is testifying on Paul’s behalf, telling everybody that Paul is showing them the way to be saved.  That’s all very well, but Paul and Silas can see the human cost under this.  They can see a woman kept down, kept chained, and so it’s no surprise when Paul, indignant at her predicament, turns round and commands the evil spirit to be gone.  And gone it is.

Everybody is overjoyed to see someone free… 

oh hang on, these are her "owners" in the background.  

Well, they can jog on.

But the loosing of those chains leads to more chains.  The girl’s owners, thwarted in their greed to make money out of her misfortune, trump up some charges against Paul and Silas, whip up a mob and have them arrested.  And Paul and Silas are severely flogged and thrown into prison.  In chains.

But you can’t put Paul and Silas down.  They may be in stocks but they’ve not lost faith.  They may have raw backs, but they’ve not forgotten the God who’s got their backs.  So they stay up all night singing songs to God, having the very first Prison Fellowship Meeting.  They may be in Hard Times, but Paul and Silas still have Great Expectations.

Prison Christian Fellowship meeting 1

And about midnight God chooses his moment.  God produces a violent earthquake.  The jailhouse rocks.  The doors fly open and everyone’s chains are suddenly slack.  That’s what it says.  Everybody’s chains became loose.  They are all free to go.

Why does all this happen?  This is God’s response to Paul and Silas praying and singing and praising.  This is God’s response to their Great Expectations.  It’s not just that Paul and Silas wanted to see the poor girl free, they still expect great things from God when they’re in dire straits.

And they could walk free.  But do they?  They don’t.  And they don’t because Paul and Silas are still thinking of other people, even when they’re aching and bloody and have been unjustly imprisoned and punished, even when the thanks they got for freeing a poor girl was pain and indignity.  They’re thinking this time of the Jailer.  Because in those days, the Jailer was personally responsible for the prisoners... so if any of them went for a walk, having been miraculously freed at midnight, then it was the Jailer’s head on the block.  Literally.  On the block.  That’s why he’s about ready to take his own life.  He’s got his sword out, he’s about to fall on it...

“No!” shouts Paul, “we’re all still here!”  And saves another life.  The Jailer lives.  And not just lives.  The Jailer is convicted on the spot and falls on his knees and asks, “What must I do to be saved?”  He realises he’s in the presence of a greater power than he’s ever known.  He knows God is there.  He probably knows that the charges against Paul and Silas have been trumped up.  And in the darkest hour of the night, he is saved.  In the darkest night of his life, he sees the light.

And between midnight and six, the world gets busy.  The prisoners don’t run away - not one of them.  The Jailer takes Paul and Silas home, where he wakes up his family.  Water is drawn, wounded backs are washed and dressed.  More water is drawn, because this Jailer and his family have been touched by God, and how can they not now become followers of Jesus?  By anyone’s standards, this is a night to remember.  Prison, earthquake, conversion.  Nobody will forget this in a hurry.  The Jailer will never forget Silas or Paul.  His household will never forget the night he came home, hyper and happy, and told them the story that brought them to faith.

Picture courtesy of Henry Martin!

All because of God’s amazing power?  Ye-es.  But also because of Paul and Silas having Great Expectations.

And you?  Do you have Great Expectations?  Do you arrive in church on a Sunday thinking, “I wonder what God has for me today!”  Do you pause to prepare to receive what God has?  There’s always a chance to have five minutes’ quiet before the service starts.  My church suggests it on the pew-sheet.  That’s not to browbeat anyone.  That’s because those five minutes are where you get ready, where you remember that you have Great Expectations, and you ask God what the - erm - Dickens he’s going to say or do or show you this morning.  Please use your five minutes wisely.  Not weighed down like the fear of a strict teacher, but lifted up, excited because the next hour (and a bit) will set your world on fire again.

And do you have Great Expectations when you go out of church for the other 166 hours of the week?  Paul and Silas were in a world a lot like ours.  People ignoring God, injustice going on, people oppressing each other, wage-slaves and people in chains.  Do you have the faith that the words you say - when you talk about Jesus - might change lives?

Look at the lives that God changes when Paul and Silas have Great Expectations.  A girl is freed from an evil spirit.  A man is saved from his own suicide.  A family are baptised in the wee small hours of the morning.

We can imagine that introducing people to Jesus might make them nicer, add a little hobby called church to their week, maybe swear a little less.  Small potatoes!  Jesus turns people round.  Jesus opens huge new doors.  Being a Christian isn’t a side salad to life.  It’s all of life.  John Newton didn’t just become nicer, he campaigned for the freedom of slaves.  Saul didn’t just become nicer, he took the gospel across Asia!  If your faith hasn’t turned your world around, you might want to check.  If you’re here thinking about faith in Jesus, don’t be fooled into thinking it’s a polite add-on.  It’s revolutionary.  It’s demanding.  It’s brilliant.

You'll've heard of the lovely librarian Barbara who first invited me to church (repeatedly, until I caved!).  When she persuaded me to listen to the Gospel, it turned me right round from being a shy, gloomy teenager who couldn’t imagine a future, chained up to lack of confidence and a Thatcherite agenda of getting out and getting rich.  Look at me now.  I’m talking in public!  I’m pretty well happy.  I’m not scared.

Barbara had Great Expectations too.  Barbara saw what could be and she went for it.

And I think what Paul and Silas and Barbara had in common was this: Great Expectations.  And I think why they had such Great Expectations is this: they knew they had help.  They had the same help that you and I have.

Do you remember the Gospel reading this morning?  Jesus, praying.  Praying for whom?  Praying for the disciples, yes.  But praying too for all those who would believe through their message.  Jesus was praying even then for that Jailer.  Jesus was praying even then for that whole family.  Jesus was praying even then for... me.

So that when Paul and Silas and Barbara started their Greatly Expectant work, they were not alone.

Jesus was praying.  Jesus was praying.  Jesus was standing at God’s right hand, telling his dad what was going down, and asking his dad to help.  That’s how Jesus spends his days now.  Busting a gut on your behalf.  You are not alone.  That’s how the Jailer and his family and me... that’s how we came to faith.  Yes, it was Paul and Silas and Barbara.  But it was Jesus right behind them, it was Jesus who had their backs, so that when they went out on a limb to share, not knowing whether I would mock or laugh or give them a wide berth, they had help.  Jesus told his dad, “They’re with me!”

I have in my hand a chain of 191 links.  That is actually about the number of links and connections there are from Jesus to me.  Jesus... someone Jesus told... someone they told... someone they told... dot dot dot for 1900 years... Barbara Guest... me.

Not possible without all these other links, speaking Greek or Latin or Saxon or Chinese or broad Black Country.  And Jesus has been there every. single. link. of. the. way.

Who’s in your chain?

Who told you?  Who taught you?  It may be multiple people.  It may be Billy Graham.  It may be a Black Country librarian.  Jesus prayed for them when they did.

And Jesus prays for you and the person you’re talking to now, whenever you go out on that dizzying limb to talk about faith.  

So imagine you have three links.  Hold them up.  

The middle one is you.  You, full of faith!  

One end one is the person or people who brought you to faith.  Think of them now.  Thank God for them now, living or gone to glory.

The other end is the person you most want to see come to faith.  Do you pray for them?  So does Jesus.  Do you talk to them?  Jesus has sent his Spirit to work on their hearts.  God gives them sunsets and Louis Armstrong and creme caramel and faithful dogs and the smell of petrichor to tell them there is a God.

The heavens declare… and so does Satchmo

You can afford to have Great Expectations, because Great is the Lord, Great is his faithfulness, and he is with you.  Jesus said, “I pray for those who will believe in me through you.”  It’s not you vs apathy.  It’s you and God awakening faith in hearts, and you have a lot more going for you than you know.

Make three paper chains right now.  Write on them.  Keep them on your fridge to remember that God breaks the chains of evil, breaks the chains of bondage when we expect him to.  And remember that this chain of disciples keeps getting longer, and you’re part of it.  There is no privilege on earth to match working with Jesus in this ministry of bringing everyone in this mad world back to their senses, back to the father who loves them, back to a brilliant way of living, away from the money-grubbing and advantage-seeking and self-protection and self-preservation that suits this world so badly but fills this world so much.

Right.  Off you go.  You're in good company...